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| Boo! |
| 10.20.05 (6:47 pm) [edit] |
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Where have I been? Around coping with a bunch of shit. That's all for now.
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| My birthday thingy |
| 05.25.05 (8:49 am) [edit] |
Your Birthdate: November 2 |
Your birth on the 2nd day of the month adds a degree of emotion, sensitivity, and intuition to your life.
The 2 is a very social number allowing you to make friends easily and quickly.
Yet you are apt to have a rather nervous air in the company of a large group.
You have a warmhearted nature and emotional understanding that constantly seeks affection.
You are more prone than most to become depressed and moody, as emotions can turn inward and cause anxiety and mental turmoil.
It can be hard for you to bounce back to reality when depression sets in. |
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| I've been busy... |
| 05.24.05 (6:05 pm) [edit] |
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I've been busy and I have to deal with dial up too. SO that is why I have not posted in a while. I cannot stand living at home. It sucks. Thank the goddess that my Mum's so called "friend" hasn't been around. I bought World of Warcraft and I've been playing that a lot lately. But last night I was playing and the power went out while I was online on my laptop. So my modem is not working and that means I have to have it fixed by Dell. What fucking fun that is. The power went out around midnight and did not come back on until 11 this morning. It was really windy last night so that is probably why we lost power, which sucks since it ruined my modem!!! My family doesn't seem to have good luck with modems. Our very first computer's modem went because it got struck by lightning. So I guess that is a bad omen. I'm working tomorrow from 2:30 to 10pm. What fun!!! At least I'm making more money now than when I was working at school. Then I'm bringing my desktop with me to my friend's house to download all the updates for World of Warcraft. I love that game!!!! This way I will be able to play it on my desktop which I have in my room now. It was in my Mum's room which pissed my Dad off since he bought the computer for me and not her.(My parents are divorced and have been since I was in 6th grade.)So ha it's back in my room now. My Mum was crying the other night. I don't know why. I think it might of been because of me since she said all I did was complain when we were out to eat at Applebee's. Or maybe she had a fight w/her "friend." Who knows. She doesn't know where I really go when I go to friends because she doesn't approve of them. But I'm going to tell her tomorrow in a note where I really go and she'll just have to deal with it. I'm not hurting myself in any way. I'm an adult too. She can't take away my computer or car keys. She did not buy this computer for me and I'm paying for my laptop. Also the car is in my Dad's name so she can't take away my keys. Tough shit for her. I love her yet I dislike her too. She doesn't get what I am going through right now. I have all of these feelings and I don't know what to do. She is so worried about how much money I will make this summer since I will need to pay for college. She hardly helped me pay for college last year so why should she be worried?? She bought me some food sometimes and payed for my cell phone bill. She made me get a cell phone so she's paying for the bill since I didn't want one in the first place. I guess she wants to know where I am 24/7. Well I am an adult. I can do whatever I want with my life. Even though I have to adhere to some rules since I still live under her roof. She can kick me out if she wants to. I can find another place to live. Oh well, going to go look at stuff on the net. Leave some love cuz I'll need it. TTFN
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| HOME!!! |
| 05.15.05 (6:40 pm) [edit] |
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Yay for being home! Being home means no more eating disgusting cafeteria food, wearing flip flops just to take a shower, sharing a bathroom with 50 other people, having to walk outside just to go and eat or go to class, no more 8am classes, no more fucking potheads/alcoholics, noisy RA's, loud neighbors or ones that a anti-social, no annoying kid across the hall from me, no more high speed internet, and no homework. There are many more things to list but that would just bore you to death. I don't feel like boring you to death today. Maybe some other time. Well, I'm not going to be on tblog as much since I have fucking dial up. I wish my Mum would get DSL at least. At least it would be faster and it wouldn't tie the phone line up. And it wouldn't be as expensive. Well, hopefully something will be done. This summer is going to suck because I have to live with my Mum and her so called "friend" is always here every fucking night. I hate him. He is NOT my father. So he shouldn't be worried about the light bill or the heating bill. He doesn't even fucking live here. Even though he may have helped us through some tough times when we didn't have enough money to buy food, he is still a fucking loser. There is some shit that I found out about him which makes me hate him even more. And this information is from a reliable source, so I can believe is. He always picks on me, and acts like he's my father. I'm an adult. I don't have to listen to him. I kind of have to listen to my Mum since I am still living under her roof. I wish I didn't. I'd go live with my dad but there is not enough room there for me to live. God, I wish I could get an apartment but there is no way in hell that I would be able to afford one. Please, someone get me out of this house. Well, I have to go to a job interview on Tuesday. Hopefully I get the job cuz it will give me 35 hours a week which is more than Hannaford will give me. So I should probably talk to my boss after I have the interview. I need money for college really badly and to pay my bills. I really need money for books though.I need to seriously clean my room and organize my drawers. It's not going to be fun. Well, enough bitching for now. I think I'm going to hook up my PS2 and watch a movie. TTFN
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| Allergies... |
| 05.10.05 (5:41 pm) [edit] |
I hope I have just allergies and not a cold or strep throat. My throat hurts but I know it's from the post nasal drip thing. I really don't want to have strep. I haven't really been doing anything differently from my schedule. I am getting enough sleep and plentry of healthy food to eat. I exercise too. Please don't let me have a cold/strep!! In other news, the cyst might not be a cyst. It has not gotten any bigger in the past few days. So that's a good sign. I don't feel particularly horrible. I think I would know if I had strep because my throat would be hurting a lot more and it would hurt to swallow. I can eat anything and swallow fine when I am eating. My throat just gets dry and it hurts. I almost lost my voice today. But for now I just sound like a boy going through puberty. Thank god I got my presentation done with last week.
I had my microeconomics final today. I don't think I failed miserably and that makes me feel better. That was my only final and it was 100 multiple choice questions. I have never hated multiple choice so much in my life. Tomorrow I have my math final, well it's not really a final, it's just the last test we have to take. Then thursday I have to listen to other peoples' presentations in class and grade them. Once that class is out at 6pm I am heading out as soon as I get the rest of my stuff into my car or my Mum's car. I need to find someone who has a broom so I can atleast sweep the floor. I also did some packing tonight and I realized that I have more clothes than I came here with, so I think I'll have to tell my Mum to bring along a box to put more stuff in. I all ready have one storage bin full of pj pants/shirts, socks, underwear, and shirts. Most of my room is empty and it's kind of depressing. I have a tv and a fridge in my room now but they are not plugged in. Even if I did plug the tv in I wouldn't be able to watch tv since I don't have a cord to hook up the cable. God, I hate this time of year. It's depressing to have to pack everything up again. I'll just have to unpack it when I get home and organize my dresser drawers since my Mum threw a bunch of books and other crap I have in my room in the empty drawers to move everything out of my room to put in the wood floor. God, the next week is going to be annoying. All I'm gonna do is hang out with friends and organize myself. At least I know what to bring when I move back to college. Ok time to end this before it gets much more boring. Yay I'm going home in two days! Can't wait!!! TTFN
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| Dearly Beloved are you listening... |
| 05.08.05 (10:05 am) [edit] |
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Wow, what a lazy bum I am today. Well I guess I am allowed a lazy weekend considering I've been so busy the past couple of weekends. Happy Mother's Day!!! Hopefully my Mum got the card I sent her in the mail. I hope she understands that I'm a poor college student. I go home in four days!!! I can't wait!!!!!!!!! My allergies are acting up today. My throat is all scratchy and I've been sneezing, too. Ha, it doesn't look like I spelled the word 'scratchy' right. I hate that when you think a word looks like it's spelled wrong but it isn't. I need to start studying for my microeconomics final on tuesday. I also have to email my boss and tell her when I'll be working this week. I got to go drop one of my classes and add French I tomorrow and call the bank about my mailing address for the summer. So many things to do yet so little time left in the day. I need to do fucking laundry but I don't want to spend five dollars on laundry, but I guess I'll have to. At least it's not raining today, but it's still a tab bit chilly out. God it's supposed to be spring, not fall! Well gotta go do something productive today since I slept in until 11. Nothing really interesting to say. I have no tv, microwave or fridge in my room since my roomate has moved all of her stuff out of the room. So I've been bored out of my mind this weekend. I played The Sims 2 for like 4 hours straight last night. That's how bored I am, and it proves how much of a geek I am too. Well, better go before I keep on rambling. TTFN
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| Religion... |
| 05.08.05 (9:17 am) [edit] |
 | You scored as Satanism. Your beliefs most closely resemble those of Satanism! Before you scream, do a bit of research on it. To be a Satanist, you don't actually have to believe in Satan. Satanism generally focuses upon the spiritual advancement of the self, rather than upon submission to a deity or a set of moral codes. Do some research if you immediately think of the satanic cult stereotype. Your beliefs may also resemble those of earth-based religions such as paganism.
Satanism | | 83% | atheism | | 79% | agnosticism | | 67% | Buddhism | | 46% | Judaism | | 46% | Paganism | | 42% | Islam | | 29% | Hinduism | | 21% | Christianity | | 13% |
Which religion is the right one for you? (new version)
created with QuizFarm.com |
Don't get me started on how I am damned to hell or how I should believe in God. Religion pisses me off. And it's all my Grandmother's fault for forcing Christianity down my throat at an early age. Don't force religion on someone, it just pisses them off.
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| Relief... |
| 05.05.05 (6:59 pm) [edit] |
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Can I say that I have been running around with my head cut off the past few days. Got pretty much everything on my list in my last post accomplished. Did my presentation today and it went really well. Now I have to stress about my microeconomics final. Why the fucking hell did I take that fucking, mind-numbing class?? As you can see I abhor it by all of the swearing in the question I think I'm getting a cyst again. I had one last year that had to be lanced. It was not fun. It is at the top of my thigh near my pubic region. Not a good place to have one. It's really small right now, so I'm hoping it's just an ingrown hair. Please dear cyst, hold off until May 13th when I will be home for the summer. I don't want the people at the health center here to have a gander at my nether regions. I don't even like to think about my nether regions sometimes. I wish I didn't have a uteris or ovaries. Or there was an on-off switch for your period. It would make my life so much easier. As well as not having hair on my legs or armpits. Sorry if I am grossing you out, but that's what I really hope for. This time next week I will be HOME!!!! TTFN
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| Drained... |
| 05.03.05 (5:39 pm) [edit] |
It's that time of year again when I don't feel like doing anything except sitting on my butt in front of a game system or a computer. I have this power point presentation to do on Thursday and I'm almost done with it. I have to scan some pictures with a scanner from the computer center tomorrow then I have to write a short paper on what I have learned in my literary analysis and interpretation class. SO MUCH FUN!!!! NOT!!! I can't wait until this time next thursday since I will be home in my own room on my own bed using fucking dial up and complaining about how much dial up sucks. It'll be nice to eat regular food for a while, too. Who believes that they actually put laxatives in the school food? I sure hope they don't. I don't think they do here. I also have to
-check the oil in my car
-call the pharmacy about my perscription
-drop women's studies and get signed into french I
-finish power point presentation w/sources I used
-study for my microeconomics final
-prepare for my last math test which is just the final even though it's not really a final
-I need to call my Memere to ask her some questions which will help me complete my project
-mail Mother's Day card
-turn in financial aid paperwork for workstudy
-take posters off my wall and pack up all my shit
I think that will keep me busy for the next few days. Wish me luck and hope that I don't go insane by next Thrusday. TTFN
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| GREEN DAY CONCERT... |
| 05.01.05 (7:18 pm) [edit] |
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Oh my fucking lord, the Green Day concert rocked my socks off. It was awesome. I am most definitely seeing them again when they come up again. I'll be getting some pictures from one of my sister's friends. I wish I had a camera phone. Then I would have taken sooooo many pictures it wouldn't have been funny. I so have to go buy all of thier cds. Maybe I should get a Green Day tattoo!!! j/k You never know though. I might...I'm that crazy about them. The show was great. Go and see them if you can. They are just awesome in concert. I can't wait for those pictures. I stole some confetti that was shot off during one of their songs. I don't know what I'm going to do with it, but I'll figure something out. I just love Green Day. I can't wait for those pictures!!!! TTFN
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| An entry... |
| 05.01.05 (4:09 pm) [edit] |
Written on April 30, 2005 posted now since I didn't have access to the internet.
I love him so much; I just wish he could love me back. I wish he would stop playing mind games. I guess he will never stop doing that since it’s his nature. Can’t he see how much I love him? He must be blind. It’s like he has disappeared off the earth, yet I know he is still around by reading his online journal. I don’t want to be alone for the rest of my life. I wish I didn’t have these feelings for him. I developed these feelings way back in 8th grade and I didn’t really realize them until high school. I just love everything about him. I don’t care if he hurts me. I don’t want to be fuck buddies. I want a relationship. A true relationship. Not one that is make believe. I don’t want to be tricked again. I’m so naïve. I can’t help but go back to him time after time. I love him. I have tried to find someone else, but no one can replace him. He reminds me of a young Bob Dylan, except he doesn’t smoke cigarettes. I wish he would hold me in his arms and never let me go. I want to be with him for the rest of my life. I want to grow old with him, have children with him. Travel to different places and do things with him. I want to wake up next to him everyday for the rest of my life. He completes me. I feel so safe when I am with him. He can protect me from anything. I wish he would realize how much I love him and realize that I don’t want him to throw his life away. I wish I was with him right now. Just watching him makes me happy. I love to talk to him. I can talk to him about anything. I can be totally honest with him. He makes me so happy. Please realize that I am not joking when I write this. Please change and realize that I love you no matter what you do.
Yeah, I'm that fucked up.
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| My aliases... |
| 04.26.05 (2:38 pm) [edit] |
Erin Suzanne Cote's Aliases
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Your movie star name: Cookies Calvin
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Your fashion designer name is Erin Paris
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Your socialite name is Lake Erie Amsterdam
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Your fly girl / guy name is E Cot
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Your detective name is Cat Massabesic
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Your barfly name is Apple Strawberry Daquiri
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Your soap opera name is Suzanne Kimball
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Your rock star name is Necco Wafers Plane
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Your star wars name is Erisam Cotche
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Your punk rock band name is The Content Koosh Ball
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| Quiz time again... |
| 04.26.05 (1:42 pm) [edit] |
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| Stolen... |
| 04.23.05 (5:49 pm) [edit] |
I stole this from illnevertell's blog. Yeah I'm a little bored considering it's a saturday night around 10 pm and I'm sitting in front of my computer talking to myself instead of out getting drunk. LOL I have never been drunk...yet.
Your Japanese Name Is... |
Namiko Shimizu
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| I look so retarded... |
| 04.21.05 (7:39 pm) [edit] |
Here is a pic I had my Mum take of me a little earlier tonight. I hate how I look in pictures. I liked what I looked like in the mirror but then I hate what I see on camera. The one below it is really weird. I was in the process of sticking my tongue out at my Mum and the camera decided to take another pic when I only wanted one.
Here is a picture of me and my best friend graduating from high school.
That's enough for now. TTFN
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| Sorry about the last post... |
| 04.19.05 (1:00 pm) [edit] |
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Disregard that last post. I was just really really pissed. I feel much better now.
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| Fucking pissed... |
| 04.19.05 (10:50 am) [edit] |
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I'm fucking pissed like usual it seems. My so called bf, well ex bf now, was playing a fucking trick on me. He and his ex gf wanted to get me to trust him again so then they could hurt me really badly. I guess he was too much of a pussy and decided to tell me what they had been planning. I just knew he would do something like this. He told me that she somehow hacked into my myspace account and got all of my passords to my other accounts. So I have been really pissed. She has been looking at all of my stuff. I emailed her to stop fucking with me. I have had enough. She was going through my accounts since my ex decided to stop the plan. He doesn't care that I still have feelings for me. I'm the past and he doesn't want anything to do with the past. He used me like usual, but I was expecting it. ARGH! I hate him yet I love him. I wish I never met the motherfucker. Now he is already getting involved with someone from his school. This girl from his school. He wanted me to have a lesbian experience with her since she was wondering what it would be like to be with another girl. What a fuck up!!!! So now, there is no more miss nice girl. It's miss bitch! I'll pretend to be his friend and somehow I will get him back for all of the pain and suffering. I plan to make his love life hell, since mine has been. He doesn't deserve to be happy. He uses people, that's all he does. He used me. What a fucking lie he is. He told me lies. I think he has been telling me lies since I met him. Oh and his ex gf pretended to be him on yahoo messenger. DAMN HER TO HELL!!! DAMN THEM ALL TO HELL!!! I need to be told that I will find someone who will treat me with the respect I deserve. I feel so fucking repulsive. So goddamn ugly. I'm hopeless. I'm a failure. Oh joy, better stop now before I freak out and cut myself. Someone tell me I will be fine.
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| I'm a fucking failure... |
| 04.12.05 (6:43 pm) [edit] |
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Why can't I write a good paper? Why did I become an English major? These are some questions that are running through my mind right now. I cannot seem to write a good paper at all. I got the same exact grade as I got on the other paper I did. A C+ on both that is. I suck at writing but I love to write. I don't like writing papers, but I like to write stories or articles for newspapers. I put some of the blame on my school since I do not feel that they prepared me that much now that I take a look back now. I hardly know grammar, but I can write perfectly fine using correct grammar. I wish I didn't feel so hopeless right now. I can't be a creative writing major because I have to have a portfolio to try and get that as my major. I would probably get rejected anyway. I have a damn test in my Microeconomics class and I'm failing that class right now since there is only one grade so far and that is an F! He won't count the other two grades I got, which sucks, since one is a C and the other is an A-. I still have this test to make up for the F and then the final, but I think I have screwed myself. It's not like I didn't do the reading or skip class all the time. I have done the reading and go to each class and pay attention. I guess I'm actually going to fail a class for the first time in my life! I don't want to! Well, what will that affect? I have no fucking idea what the hell I want to do after I am through with college. I'm having second thoughts about my major now all because of my Literary Analysis and Interpretation teacher. She says I need to go to the student help center to have someone go over my work with me. The problem is, I always have class or I'm working at that time. I'm going to stop now because I'm making myself feel worse. I'm a fucking failure. At least I don't have classes tomorrow so that will give me time to study and go to the review session for the test. TTFN
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| I'm a mermaid... |
| 04.12.05 (4:35 am) [edit] |
 | You scored as Mermaid. Mermaid: Mermaids are also known as Sirens. These creatures were beautiful women who tricked sailors into becoming completely entranced by their haunting voices and found death soon after. Not all stories of Mermaids are about gentle loving sea people. They are mystical, magical, and extremely dangerous. They have a way about them that brings anyone they are around to seem enchanted. They are very mysterious creatures and to meet one... Would mean certain Death. Let the song of the Sea fill your soul, for you are a Mermaid.
Mermaid | | 84% | Faerie | | 84% | Angel | | 67% | Demon | | 50% | Dragon | | 50% | WereWolf | | 8% |
What Mythological Creature are you? (Cool Pics!)
created with QuizFarm.com |
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| WTF is going on?? |
| 04.11.05 (2:18 pm) [edit] |
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I'm pissed. Will someone turn off the fucking heat in the dorm all ready!?!?!?! I can't sit at my desk because the heat is blowing on me from the heater, while the window is open so cold air is blowing on me, too. There is no happy medium in my room. Besides that, my day went pretty well. Got through all my classes and got to work the right amount of time today at my work study job. I'm stressed about registering for classes. I hope I can get into the ones I want. I think I will, but I only have to worry about one class that seems to be filling up really quickly. Talked with the hunny last night for a while. I can't wait to see him again. Probably won't see him right when I get home like I usually do since he has to work all weekend. I'll probably end up seeing him on Sunday. I'm going to be looking for a new job during my April vacation. I cannot stand Shop n Slave(a.k.a. Hannaford) much longer. I hope I can find one easily. Oh that means I need to polish up my resume too. Great, another thing to add to my 'to do' list. I cannot wait for this semester to be over. It has been a really stressful one. I hope I don't fail my Microeconomics class. I have to stay up until I can register at 12am on Thursday morning. It's going to be hard to get up for my 8am class that morning and I have a test in it and it's the damn Microeconomics class too. What is keeping me going is knowing that I will be home on Friday. That means I don't have to wear flip flops when I take a shower and I get to eat real food. Well, better go look up the words I do not know in the sections I read in Walt Whitman's Song of Myself. I actually like his stuff which is surprising cuz I can't stand working on poetry. I'll have more to rant about later. TTFN
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| Quiz again cuz I'm bored... |
| 04.11.05 (8:19 am) [edit] |
You're a LIGHT PRINCESS!! The fairy of light and
healing, you are very kind-hearted and
friendly. You love to make people feel welcome
and you always love making friends. Who
wouldn't like someone like you!
What Kind Of Fairy Princess are You?(with anime pics)
brought to you by Quizilla
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| Sex Toy! |
| 04.07.05 (5:12 pm) [edit] |
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Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that I broke down and finally bought a sex toy. This is the second one I have bought. The other one is at home though, but this one will be a travel one. I'll tell ya some more about it if there is any interest. Teen girls don't need to be afraid of their sexuality. I bought my friend a dildo called Mr. Softee. He was 8 inches long but her boyfriend stole it from her when she went to visit him in California over her spring break. I have no fucking clue why he stole it but hey, I bought it for her! NOT HIM! Pisses me off!!! Oh well, I'll have to get her another one but this time she is going to pay me some money for it. Jeez, sometimes I don't like being the one that has a credit card out of my group of friends. But I guess they would be too reckless if they did get one. TTFN
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| I can't wait... |
| 04.07.05 (5:00 pm) [edit] |
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I can't wait for April 15th to get here sooner. Because I'm on vacation!!!! That means I get to see my hunny! I'm so happy to see him. I miss him soooo much! Ok, enough of that lovey dovey stuff. I know it can make some people sick just hearing someone say that. I have to pay my bills. I also went and payed my bill today at the Business Office. Yup, there goes the 300 dollars of my income tax. Well, I'll get it back once my thousand dollar scholarship is sent to the school. Me and my best friend have talked about a lot of stuff this week. Like how we both masturbate and other kinds of sex stuff. It's nice to be able to talk to someone about it. If my Mum found out what the hell I have done w/him she would flip. But what can she do? Forbid me to go to his house?? I don't think so. For one, she doesn't own my car so she can't take the keys away from me and two, I don't think she would talk to my Dad about my sex life. I'm 19 years old for goddess sake. I'm going to be 20 this November. They can't tell me what to do, even though there are exceptions, since I'm still living under my Mum's roof, but not by choice. I'd rather live on my own, but that is not possible. Next week I get to register for classes. Hopefully I can get the classes I want. Well, I'm going to go back to watching Full House. Yeah, I'm retarded like that. TTFN
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